Unblock Me…(!)

BY: Dan Phale*

About four decades ago, my life account was opened in the heavenly kingdom at the time when God created me out of His own will. And as per His holy plan, I was destined to get in abundance, everything in life… such as delicious food, very nice clothes, and a descent shelter. In other words, my book balance was sufficient to take me to yonder times if nothing went wrong in my existence on earth.

Having been born from the then husband and wife, Joseph and Beatrice, ignorance distracted me from knowing what future life would be like. As a child, just like all other four children in our family, I was well taken care of. At least I ate three meals every day: breakfast before going to school, lunch after coming back from school, and supper in the evening… Well, those were the old good days when the cost of living was not high as compared to the earning capacity.

In terms of education, I had an excellent performance both in primary school and secondary school to the extent that my expectations were high that I would even proceed to the university. I still recall pretty well that my teachers used to call me as one of the college materials. What a complement. Suffice to mention herein that I lacked adequate finances for post secondary studies. That was probably the main source of the dark age of my life, and in the course of time – Lucifer – the once disobedient angel of the Lord, who is also well known as the leader in the revolt against the holy heavenly kingdom abducted me out of the custody of my creator.

Soon after graduating from secondary school I became a heavy and habitual drunkard. There and then my life became full of troubles as I was entangled in the devil’s nest. More often than not things did not work out in accordance with my plans… In a nutshell, Lucifer hacked my life account; and my efforts to untangle myself from him proved futile. Actually, the more I attempted the more Lucifer enslaved me, and finally he blocked my life account so that I could not succeed in wrestling with him. Let me add herein that when the devil hacks and blocks a person’s life account, such person then becomes an idiot devoid of wisdom, so that an advice which is given goes in one ear and out the other; and to this effect he or she happens to be very a worthless slave of life. He or she is mistreated And consequently, he or she suffers the most of all. I have, actually, seen it with my ears, so to speak.

However, in the recent past, I realized that although I was struggling to recover my account from the devil, I needed the power of my creator… I, thus, abandoned beer drinking habit very which happened to be pleasing the devil, and I returned to sobriety. I, simultaneously, ordered the devil to unlock me; I said: “To you, Lucifer, I shout in the name of Jesus Christ to ‘Unblock me…’ because I don’t belong to you, and my life account was opened free of charge by my Almighty God who created me.”

Frankly speaking, at the moment I am back on track. The index of my economic growth and development shows that I am improving; the smile is back on my face as by and large I am able to retain good reputation as befits a morally upright person; and it is my wholesome faith that my God will be on my side all the times. And from now henceforth, whenever my way is blocked by the evil spirits, I will be swift enough to order such evil spirits to unblock me.


Some Spiritual Leaders Are Such Opportunistic And Greedy

BY: Dan Phale*

Over a decade ago a well-wisher made a decision to donate a borehole to a community which lies close to place where the offices of my work is situated. He thought he should channel such a donation through a person engaged in any of the pastoral works. In accordance with his understanding and belief, such a person would be the most trusted one… Yes, he preferred spiritual leaders to any of the social leaders because most of the people shared a common view that the latter group of leaders have often been associated with corrupt practices.

Through one known as Mbewe, one of the residents in the target area, Pastor Gabriel was identified and introduced to the donor. So through Pastor Gabriel all processes commenced to identify the site. There and then the donor identified the contractor who came and drilled and fixed a borehole. And sooner than later the community members were all smiles for having a borehole within their reach for safe drinking water… Thanks to a well-wisher. But none dreamed what the so-called Pastor Gabriel was up to.

Everything was in order with respect to the usage of water from that borehole. Periodic elections were held in order to choose from the borehole users leaders to oversee the borehole usage issues. But about ten years later things changed. The pastor’s attitude and demeanour got changed drastically.

One day, last week, people woke up to get the stunning news that the pastor had just made an order that all the office bearers should relinquish all positions earlier held by each of them. And this week the pastor has made another order that all the money which has so far been paid in form of annual contributions by each of the water users be surrendered to him with immediate effect. As if this is not enough, the opportunistic church leader has again stamped his authority by raising the amount of the annual sum of money for each of the water users to pay, an issue which has irked everyone. Amazingly, over ten years, about one thousand water users have been paying quite huge sums of money as annual contributions; and this money has never been used because the borehole has never developed any mechanical fault, thanks to the sound management of the borehole as spearheaded by the removed position bearers.

Meanwhile the pastor is on record as having once said that the borehole could be turned into a very lucrative business for him and his family to become rich because it was donated in his name. Rumours are also rife that he formed his church only after the news about the intended donation of the borehole had reached him. His only aim was to grab the opportunity to become rich. Suffice to mention herein that the community leaders, as led by the same Mbewe who is the most key witness, have filed a civil suit in a court of law against the opportunistic church leader.

In fact this unfortunate story is but a tip of the iceberg. Certainly there are many religious leaders who are harvesting where they did not actually sow. Instead of being exemplary by living up to what they do preach on pulpit they are doing quite the contrary. Greed and hypocrisy are what they show. Now, if the spiritual leaders are nothing but crooks, then who shall the world look up to for moral advice? Your answer is as good as mine, “nobody“.

But the Bible says we should be alert because during last days there will come false prophets in God’s name. No wonder there are too many churches today in the world with self proclaimed prophets or prophetesses. I mean, has our God been divided?

Well, let us be on a lookout, for people of such bad attitude and thinking might be living in our midst. Otherwise we may be betrayed by the very people whom we have ever considered as righteous.

A Pastor Relying Upon A Legal Practitioner…?

BY: Dan Phale*

Sometimes when you look at a tortoise you are likely to mistake it for a stone… These words “Tortoise is like a stone” were once part of the song words in a song done by the then popular local musician, Ben Michael, now the traditional chief.

Last week a pastor for a certain church in our area was apprehended for allegedly having forged official documents which are in respect of some projects being undertaken by the local authorities… And on Friday, he was taken to the Magistrate Court of law for the inception of the legal proceedings. With all the exceptional and extraordinary interest generated in the society by the case, most of his church members and all other people crowded the Court chamber in order to witness the proceedings. The most notable figure of all was another self ordained prophet who had been seen talking with the lawyer before getting inside the chamber.

Having heard the Court’s reading of such particulars of the offence as averred by the State on the charge sheet, how do you plead?” the Court asked.

Your worship, Im denying the charge,” the so-called man of God responded.

Then the prosecutor made an opening address. This was followed by that of a man in black suit who stood up and introduced himself to the Court of law as a lawyer to represent the accused person… But immediately before the lawyer’s address came to an end, the gallery went abuzz with murmuring. “How can a man of God rely on an earthly lawyer to represent him in court when he preaches that Jesus is the lawyer of all lawyers…?” The proceedings nearly got disrupted before a court Marshal strongly cautioned them to desist from making noise or risk being charged with being in contempt with the Court.

It is worth mentioning that as a general understanding of the people, it was expected that the pastor, Reverend Stephen – whose real name initially was Buffalo Buffalo – would always lean upon God as he has often preferred himself to be called “Man of God” both when preaching and when chatting with others… In fact Buffalo Buffalo had chosen Stephen as his spiritual godfather in his pastoral work… As per the bible, Stephen was stoned to death merely because of sticking to the truth according to God’s word.

But contrary to such a great expectation, people became hugely perplexed when they noticed that the socalled Man of God resorted to relying on somebody who practices law in earthly courts. To one and all, this is an hypocritical jigsaw puzzle because even the street wisdom can confirm that those who spread the word of God must live up to their own preachings.

When order was restored in the gallery, the pastor’s lawyer – Counsel Collins – continued with submissions. He pleaded with the Court to consider releasing his client on bail. And at the end of an inter partes hearing, the bail application was indeed granted. Finally, after all the formalities were done, Pastor Stephen was released on bail, as a matter of constitutional right.

Outside the chamber, Pastor Stephen raised his arms to the sky, and said, “thank you God” before everybody burst into giggling… Well, could it be proper to say that God had sent the lawyer to help him get out of the custody of the State on bail…? OR, is it an irony to suggest that a pastor or a prophet should be the one to guide a lawyer?

Meanwhile, most of the pastor’s church members are at the sixes and sevens. They don’t know whether it is true that faith in God is key to success in everything. Furthermore, they have lost trust in their pastor. In fact, the pastor’s name has now become a topical subject of gossip among many people. According to them, if he really did not commit this offence he would rather leave the case in the Almighty God’s hands than depending on a mere mortal. As such it is yet to be seen whether they will continue following him.

Are They Apostles Or The Magicians…?

BY: Dan Phale*

In this era when there are too many churches, many individuals have come forward claiming to be the servants of God with spiritual titles like apostles, or prophets, or something like that. And really this is a phenomenon of its kind.

Let us, first of all, look at the definition of the term apostle. This word comes from the Greek noun, apostolos, which in English means an ambassador, or the one who is delegated… And in the local church an Apostle Of Jesus Christ was the highest ranking official as appointed by God the Father for the purpose of establishing churches and spreading the truth based on the word of God. Those who qualified for apostleship were those who had the spiritual gift as bestowed upon them by the Holly Spirit either immediately before or immediately after Jesus’s accession into the heaven.

Now for the purpose of this article let it be known that one of the attributes for which an apostle was uniquely known among the people was the spiritual ability to perform some miracles… And this is why I have decided to publish this article so that we assist one another.

May all and sundry be warned that the possibilities are very high that some people are false apostles.

According to the book of Acts 8:9 a man called Simon had for some time been practicing magic in a certain town whereas the Samaritan people had been astounded. By virtue of his magic this man had given out the impression that he was someone with great spiritual powers. As such everybody believed in him; the official and ordinary people alike had declared, “He is the divine powers called Great.” But when Phillip, the Apostle, preached the good news about the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ they knew the truth about Simon.

Similarly, at Paphos, according to the book of Acts 13:6, there was a Jewish magician and false prophet called Bar-Jesus. He was one of the official attendants of the proconsul, Sergius Paulus, who was an extremely intelligent man. The proconsul summoned the two real apostles Barnabas and Saul and asked for the opportunity to hear the word of God, but the magician tried to prevent the proconsul from being converted. However the Holly Spirit who often led the apostles instantly punished the magician… Well, the question is: what would happen if the two apostles were not led by the Holly Spirit? Obviously the proconsul would not have the grace to know the true status of God.

In the same way many people in this generation have the impression that those who perform miracles while preaching at various religious gatherings are apostles… This is a wrong perception. Such individuals who display their supernatural powers may be doing that in a simple quest for popularity. Over and above, there are already evidential facts that some of these people have a record of having made false prophecies.

All in all, we should be careful lest we become ensnared by the devil… Not all who perform miracles are the servants of God.

Divisions In The Name Of God…?

BY: Dan Phale*

The title of this article may sound rather strange, but it only reflects some of the crude facts regarding the conduct of those who claim to be believers of the word of God.

It is very much obvious that the faith groups – hereinafter referred to as believers – are like the fortified walls erected against every form of evil forces. They are believed to be in existence in order to help all and sundry to boldly stand up against infidelity, crime, greed, oppression, lust, war, and many other evils. In this regard, one is prompted to hold on to the view that such groups of believers need to be as many as possible in a bid to achieve more formidable force against the devil.

However, in view of a meticulous examination of facts that are on the ground these faith groups are many for nothing. This has come into a reality because of divergent religious doctrines and practices which are seen to be manifestly divisive in nature. Suffice to mention herein that such differences are as a result of personalities, and misguiding creeds, and other factors that create a huge disunity among the so-called believers. This multiplicity of faith groups makes us to conclude that many spiritual groups are good for nothing.

It is even more than funny to become witnesses of such terrible divisions among members of the same faith group to the extent that the courts of law are called upon to arbitrate.

Like what Paul said to the Ephesians, “There is one Body, one Spirit, just as one hope is the goal of your calling by God. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, and one God and Father of all, over all, through all and within all.” Paul also pleaded with the Corinthians by saying, “Brothers, I urge you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, not to have factions among yourselves but all in agreement in what you profess; so that you are perfectly united in your beliefs and judgements.”

Unlike the current situation in which there are many divisions among members of faith groups, with many countless denominations, there is a requisite need that believers should get united at all cost… God has never been split. I plead with you all – whether you are the Bahais, Buddhas, Christians, Hindus, Muslims, or Rastafarians – to become the world lighthouse by sending forth rays of faith, hope, love, truth, morality, and many other virtues.

Jesus’s Crucifixion

We Christians believe that Jesus was crucified on the cross because of our disobedience and/or transgressions. Furthermore it is our faith that we were saved from the eternal death. But this is not sufficient; we must allow the Holly Spirit to reign in us.

Romans 8: 11 says “…… and if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead has made his home in you then he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will give life to your own mortal bodies through his Spirit living in you.”

Now, as we commemorate the crucifixion of Jesus let us remind one another that we should not do this as a mere traditional ceremony, no… Rather we are supposed to take an opportunity to repent our sins so that we die and resurrect together with Jesus.

In fact the Bible tells us that every sin is forgivable. What we need is simply to accept that we are all sinners, and repent. Jesus said Luke 5:32 that “I have come to call not the upright but sinners to repentance.”

Jesus’s crucifixion is a proof of God’s own immeasurable love for us… The evidence is traced at Romans 5:8 where we read “So it is proof of God‘s own love for us, that Christ died for us while we were still sinners.”

Wishing all and sundry a meaningful period of Easter commemorations.

Matrimonial Wisdom And Manners

By: Dan Phale*

Seven months ago Charles and Pilira led to the altar on a wedding which was graced by their parents, relatives, friends and friends’ friends. It was a very wonderful occasion which sealed their bond as a husband and a wife with an anticipation that they would live together until death of one or both of them.

But the quotation which was used on the wedding day as ‘he who finds a woman finds a good thing‘ has been proved incorrect in the life of Charles. And this is more of a reason for me to take my laptop to publish this so that you and I become agents of behavioural change in our respective societies.

Going by the meanings of names, Charles means ‘manly‘ and you look up in the dictionary the meaning of ‘manly‘ as having or showing qualities that are expected in a man. And specifically in this case Charles is a very caring, loving, faithful and hardworking man.

In a sharp contrast Pilira is unruly and obstinate with little qualities of being called a wife. She does not conform to the matrimonial sanctity; in fact she has never been submissive to her husband.

Three months after the wedding, Pilira showed signs of infidelity which made their matrimonial roots shake to the worst effect that Charles could not help chasing  her from his house without even bringing this to the attention of the marriage advocates and/or parents. He was quickly tired of staying with a Jezebel.

Pilira later on realized her mistake; she could then sleep on an empty stomach… Yes, depth of a well is actually known when it dries. In fact it was too late to be accepted in Charles’ life as he had already married another girl, Eliza.

Diabolical Plans Fail:

Pilira became pregnant for someone and she planned to take this as a leeway to go back to Charles through his mother.

“Mother, I have been chased by Charles for no reason at all while I’m carrying his baby…”

“Aa-aaah, why has he done this to you?” Evarista interjected. “Don’t worry, I’ll handle this. Let’s go together.”

When they got there they found out that Charles had already married another lady without even consulting his elders. Mistakes upon mistakes!

“As you can see, your son has been bewitched by this slut,” Pilira said, the allegation which was strongly denied by Charles.

Of course Evarista could not believe what Charles explained… And they stayed there for some days. And last week Pilira sneaked into the kitchen where she maliciously put some poisonous powder in the food which was to be eaten by Charles and his new wife so that Eliza should miscarry.

Fortunately or unfortunately Pilira took the poisoned dish to the table where she would eat alongside Evarista. So it happened that soon after eating, Pilira fell so sick that she was rushed to the hospital where the gynaecologist announced that the foestus in her womb had been terminated by poison.

Pilira finally confessed not only her immoral behaviour, but also her evil intention to have Eliza miscarry.